NNWM Day Whatever

Lost power for a few days, kinda lost my motivation for NaNo in that time, stay tuned for news?

NaNoWriMo 2012 - The Azureverse Project

Is everyone (all 0 of you) ready for another month of me stressing myself out about my terrible novel that no one is even going to read, nevermind published? Well too bad, 'cause we're doing that again...

This year ... I'm not sure. I might rewrite Azure Sky, the novel I tried writing last year (and about a dozen times over the past 10 years. I even tried re-writing it during the Camp NaNoWriMo events in June and August, which of course failed miserably as well, didn't even bother trying to chronicle those...) Or I might write just random short stories, probably all Azure Sky-related.

If I do re-write it, it will be probably the most different version of the story yet. Mainly due to the fact that I'm replacing the old main character, originally a blatant author insert who did become better but not enough so, with a new character. A character who was actually originally the old main character's son from the future! And now is very much not so. (The old main character, my avatar (that is, my avatar on the blog, not 'author avatar' though he's kinda that too I guess), is still around though, in a very different role which I think will work quite a bit better if I can get the logistics of his story arc set up right.)

There's a lot of work to be done here... I'm probably better off just giving up and forgetting about it... I'm never going to be the author I would really give anything to be... Dream occupation and all that... But there I go being negative and self loathing again, silly me!

The Azure Sky 'series' is a story I've been working on off and on (mostly off) for 10 years now. An urban fantasy, young adult series (so creative, I know) that is basically about super heroes, and elementals, and gods. One of the novels (Azure Night, my NNWM 2010 offering) is actually a fairly generic vampire novel (again: creative). Will I ever learn how to write in a way that isn't complete shit and make something of the series? Stay tuned to find out! (Spoilers: I won't)

You can follow along with my progress here on the blog (which has no followers, who am I even talking to?), or by following this link to my NaNoWriMo page!

Less than a week left. I haven't actually prepared anything yet this year. This will go well, I'm sure...

~Psylash, self aware of his negativity...

NaNoWriMo Day 30

Final day!

But I failed...

I came it at 69,393 words total, which is nearly 20,000 more words than I needed for the NNWM word count. But I didn't actually finish the book. I'm about halfway through chapter 28, which is possibly the penultimate chapters, or it might go to 30, I can't really decide just yet, we'll see how that plays out. Also there's a short epilogue, but that might just be called chapter 30/31 instead, because it probably shouldn't be an epilogue at all...

Iunno...

I should be able to finish soon, anyway, though. Just a shame I couldn't get it done during November. Or rather that I failed to, not that I couldn't, because I could have. I could have easily been done on Sunday or Monday, but I wasted four gorram days with Terraria instead.

Terraria is crazy fun, though, so at least there's that.

Only problem? A certain person just happens to be coming back into my life tomorrow who I'd rather wasn't.

Well, that, and Terraria has its big version 1.1 update sometime tomorrow... yeah...

If anyone followed my postings, but didn't actually follow my blog (because I still have no actual followers), thanks for putting up with my ramblings during the month. Sorry I failed to complete the project. But I will! I promise! I don't think I'll ever publish it, because dreams don't always come true, but I'll finish it. And I'll even think about writing book 2 as well.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 29

Chapter 27 is complete after another 2500 words or so...

Chapters 28, 29, 30, and the epilogue? I have 1 day left to write them. But I do have 2 rough drafts each for them, and 2 very older versions of them (they might not be 3 chapters...really they could be just 1 if I wanted, but meh). If I dedicate the entire day tomorrow to the project, I could probably get them finished?

I doubt I'll be able to pull it off now, though. Wish me luck anyway.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 28

I'm never gonna finish now, am I?

Still no words tonight...

3 or 4 chapters left, and only 2 days to do it...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 27

I might as well copy/paste yesterday's post here...

I've kinda played Terraria out at this point, though, so hopefully I'll dedicate a ton of time tomorrow to writing? We'll see...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 26

Forgot to write this last night...

Same as day 25 though! Played Terraria instead of writing... I'm not sure if I'll be able to finish on time now...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 25

Instead of writing, I downloaded Terraria and played it until 4 AM...

Time management skills? What are those?

;.; 0 words today...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 24

Chapter 26 is done now. Chapter 27 is going well. Chapters 27 to 30 are all stuff that I've written before, much like the first few chapters. They'll probably end up pretty long chapters, and I've only 6 more days to finish them, but I should be able to pull it off if I dedicate a little time, given that I have older drafts for these chapters at least.

Also, it's the 25th now, which is the first day you can make your 50k+ word count official. So I've officially won NNWM 2011 now! That's nice, I guess... I need to get the actual novel done, though, before I start celebrating...

As much shit as I gave myself all during the month, the final few chapters are actually kinda good, I think. They're suspenseful, and actiony, and twisty, and even a little romantic, for what I can do with romance. So hopefully I'll actually be enjoying myself as I finish up the book.

Here's hoping...

Oh, and there's an epilogue afterwards, which is basically just a big "TO BE CONTINUED" bit... The book is being written as the first part of a trilogy. Will I ever write parts 2 and 3? Probably not! But who knows?

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 23

I fell short of 1667 words for the first time this month... But that's not really important, I guess...

I did finish the 25th chapter, though... Chapter 26 might get cut entirely... It seems pretty pointless...

Not much else to say today... Besides more whining... I'll save that for tomorrow, though...

I will say I REALLY need a new mouse, though...and a desk chair...and money to buy these things...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 22

Welp, I went back and finished chapter 23 after all!

And I've begun working on 25 now as well... I think I have the full chapter planned out fairly well in my head now, and I can hopefully finish it up later on today (tonight). So wish me luck, all you people who aren't reading this!

I also wrote about 500 more words than I did on any of the previous three days, so that's pretty nice, too.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 21

Well...the book is done...sorta...kinda...

Ah, look, at the end of chapter 23, I realized that I had written myself into 2 corners... One glaring plot hole, and one plot thread that I wasn't prepared to actually write... So instead I wrote a quick, all-caps 3-4 paragraph summary of how that chapter would end before moving on to chapter 24...

Tonight I decided, fuck the whole thing, and wrong similar summaries for the entirety of chapters 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, and the epilogue... Will I spend the rest of the month expanding on those summaries? I hope so... I really do... But I don't see myself doing that...

I at least hope that, now that I have a mostly-functional first draft, I'll spend time post-NNWM going back over the whole thing and maybe editing and rewriting it into something worth reading... Remember: I want to be a writer... Like, that's the thing I wanted to do when I grew up, and still want to do now that I (technically) am grown up...

There's just that lousy problem that I'm pretty sure I'm an absolutely horrible writer, and I can't get any honest feedback on my work to really assess my actual ability... This problem is furthered by the fact that I've been working with these characters (in my head) for a literal decade... I really don't know one way or the other now if they're really any good, because they've just become this part of me that is very difficult to judge now...

I do think I have some vaguely interesting ideas going on, at least... Some being the key word...and vaguely being the second key word... Cliche, but interesting... There is most likely a very salvageable story buried under it all, and I just need the skill to find it...

Or I just need to give up and go back to being the worthless bum I've been since high school... Yeah, that's the one I'll most likely do...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 20

Writer's block, wonderful...

I actually ended up just throwing a quick summary of what I WANT to write at the end of chapter 23, because I couldn't find the words to flesh it out... Hopefully I'll be able to fix that soonish...

I'm writing fewer and fewer words each day, though... Which is disappointing...

And my characters are becoming one note-er by the sentence...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 19

Even fewer words today than yesterday. But still above the 1666/1667 daily goal, so that's okay I guess...

Chapter 22 has finally ended, and 23 is moving along just fine. Though I'm seeing a lot of room for improvement with this chapter, so I'll probably end up rewriting a bit of it before long and prolong finishing the novel. Which is probably for the best. Still, I'd like to get it finished at this point, given that I don't need to worry about word count anymore.

My characters are interacting in nearly-meaningful ways, though. Not just expositing and fighting. My main characters' families are being fleshed out a little better. Which is one of the things I intend to focus on a lot if and when I get around to rewrites. Day to day life of the heroes. It's an urban fantasy, after all, strange of me to not look into that stuff.

I still have little faith in my work, but I'm at least looking forward to getting it done again. Progress?

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 18

This was my lowest word count of the month. Which isn't that bad, as I still surpassed the minimum daily word count, unlike last year when I only had a few hundred on the day after passing the 50k mark. Progress?

Not much progress, though. Chapter 22 is just going on and on and on. I've been working on it for 3 days now, maybe 4. It's not even really that important plot wise, it's basically a bunch of world building all at once (because I'm a bad writer) with some plot exposition mixed in (because I'm a bad writer).

I think the last few bits of it are fairly well written, though. Better than a lot of the rest of the book, anyway. Better than other bits of the same chapter, even, which started out rather lazily.

REWRITES! REMEMBER YOU CAN STILL REWRITE! STOP HAETIN' ON YOUR SELF! AND STOP TALKING TO YOURSELF PUBLICLY!

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 17

NaNoWriMo 2011 is officially a success!

Which is to say I have 50,000 words. The book isn't done. (ORANYGOODOHGODSALLOFMYTEARS)

Chapter 22 is turning out to be REALLY long. Which is potentially bad, since there are as many as 11 more chapters planned (maybe just 8, though)...

Also last year, when I hit 50k I started slacking off pretty bad. Which wasn't a problem, since Azure Night only ended up being 56k words in the end. Azure Sky is looking to be around 80,000-100,000 easily, which is much more problematic...

Why do the chapters get longer and longer and longer? I guess that's kinda a good thing? Iunno...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 16

MOTHERFUCKING SELF CONFIDENCE HOW DOES IT WORK?

2400 words away from the monthly goal, but still at least 7 chapters from the end of the novel...

The plot is really poorly paced, the characters have bare bones personalities and very little in the way of development or arcs, and the plot just isn't really interesting... Very generic, poorly explained, and fairly random in how it happens...

Why am I writing again?

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 15

Feeling a bit better about this whole thing today... So that's nice.

Today we delved a bit into world building. I've been both excited and dreading this part for a while. Excited, because I know a lot of how the mythology of this world works, down to intricate details. Dreading, because I don't know if it's really all that interesting, or if I'd be able to make it sound interesting with my level of skill.

I am, however, considering rethinking the world in a big way. At the moment, it takes place in a made up major US city. But what if it doesn't take place in the US? What if the world feels like modern Earth, but isn't shaped that way?

Would it still be an urban fantasy if it's largely a made of world, just one that still feels like Earth? I don't really know...

I do know that I'd likely not be able to pull that off very believably... I'd fall back on colloquialisms that wouldn't make sense out of the context of, well, the 'real' world. Also I'd spent way too much time worrying about the fact that everyone is speaking English on a planet where there wasn't an England...

I worry about things like that a lot, actually. I should try to learn to ignore silly things like that. Sometimes you don't need to explain things. Probably better off if you didn't... Iunno...

On an unrelated note, NNWM is half over now... I'm less than 5k words from the goal, but a good 10 chapters away from the end of the book. Not sure if that's great or terrible.

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 14

I need to believe that rewrites can solve all my problems...

Even though I'm pretty sure they can't...

In other news, the female lead ending up in a lesbian relationship with one of the big bads would be much more believable than her ending up with the male lead...

Which would be fine, except ALL my characters seem like they'd work better if they were gay. Or at least most. And I'm pretty sure an entirely gay cast would be a hell of a statistical anomaly...

http://www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...

NaNoWriMo Day 13

I want to rant and rant about how much I fail at everything... But that would be stupid, and pointless, and whiny, and no one would fucking read it anyway, so I won't...

Instead I'll just say I'm past 40,000 words now, so there's that I guess, whatever...

ALSO MY INTERNET IS A PIECE OF USELESS SHIT JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

www.nanowrimo.org/en/participants/psyched-slash

~Psylash...